June 20, 2009

I have been searching for many years to find others who have had similar experiences. Thank you for giving this topic a place to be heard. Following is the condensed version of my story. To read the full version or comment, please email me at nancygian@msn.com.

I feel very fortunate to be able to say that I often experience moments of grace, but it hasn’t always been so. But the first time it happened was so extraordinary, I will remember it for as long as I live.

The first morning rays of sun were just filtering in through the window, as I lay in that comfortable state between half-sleep and awakening. As I opened my eyes, I realized with a start that I was not in the guestroom of my parents’ house where I had gone to sleep the night before. Instead, I was in a world filled with the most brilliant white light I had ever seen. This incredible light didn’t fill the world – it was the world. It spread out in every direction, as far as I could see, occupying not only space and every object within it, but myself as well. So all encompassing was this light that there wasn’t room for anything else. Time did not exist, nor did spatial dimensions or anything you could touch. I could not even claim a single thought or emotion, except one. Together with this awesome light was – love. But it was a love that far surpassed anything I had ever experienced here on earth. So pure, so unconditional, so blissful was that love that I knew I had to be standing in the presence of God. Words cannot begin to describe the feelings that coursed through me. I felt a joy, an ecstasy, a state of grace and release that was not of this world. To know that an Energy so mighty in its absolute perfection loved an inconsequential speck of a human like me – regardless of what I said or did or thought – seemed absolutely impossible. And yet, it was real. It was truly All There Is. I felt it in every cell of my body, and it was almost more than I could bear. My eyes overflowed with tears as I acknowledged the magnitude of this gift. And it was with great sadness that I realized I would never experience this again until I too, reached the other side. I didn’t want to be separated from this love ever again, but slowly the light fell away and I found myself in the bedroom that I knew so well.

Since that day, I have never been afraid of death. And I will never, ever, doubt the existence of God or the unconditional love He has for all of us – his children. Even in my darkest moments, I know that He is watching over me and offering me an opportunity to obtain my heart’s desire. And when my time comes, I will be looking forward to going home, too.